Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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