i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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