I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
