After last night, I could never be a politician.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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