I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize