I think I died a long time ago.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
