I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
