I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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