so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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