Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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