Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
