it wasn't lemon gatorade
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
