your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
