I accidentally had phone sex last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
