you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
