Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
