you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
