Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
