I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
