no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
