Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
