I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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