after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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