My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
