can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
