i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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