She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
