Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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