Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
