My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
