if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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