He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize