we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
