Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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