Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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