we have pet lesbian snakes
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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