I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
high people should be assigned attendants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
