So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
