I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
