Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
