I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
