Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
