Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
