yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My ass is underappreciated
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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