i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
