did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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