she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
