Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
