I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
