he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Randomize
