you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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