This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woke up backwards on a recliner
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
