Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
