Don't you send me to vm
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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