it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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