That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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