She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I stole a fireplace last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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