Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
