I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I love you.
Bad choice
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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