He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
