That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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