Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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