He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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