belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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