Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
