im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
