I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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