So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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