3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
