....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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