a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize