I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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