I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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