my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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